Thread:Minnichi/@comment-3327121-20120706054243/@comment-3327121-20120807064453

The rewording all looks good so far. I can see your point about how the sentences in-between were drifting away from the speakers. Thanks for pointing that out. Good call about the listener, too. I'll try to keep that in mind for the future.

Overall the start of the revision looks great - you made it all flow better. Thanks!